Hell to Sell
by friendsidol5
Summary: Oneshot, SongFic... Getting him to listen was going to be hell, selling the idea would be even harder... BB, HA and ZN, but not the main focus, more of a friendship fic, kinda. hard to explain, rated T for topic of conversation


Come with me if you want to see anything worth while, my child

**Disclaimer: **I wouldn't be applying for so many scholarships if I owned even a smidgen of this fabulous show.

AN: Lyrics are in italics. Beta'd it myself; hopefully I caught everything. I really wanted to get this posted because personally I love the idea… which is kind of obvious because if I didn't, I probably would not have written it. Anywhosits… go read and if you celebrate like I do, Happy Easter.

**Hell to Sell**

It was a warm spring evening in Washington, D.C., which didn't explain how Seeley Booth had ended up at a club, and a crowded, stuffy club at that. It also didn't explain how he had ended up in this packed, over heated club, with a bunch of squints.

"Why the hell am I here?" He asked himself as he looked around the crowded room.

"Oh yeah. She's the reason." Booth reminded himself quietly as he spotted his partner dancing with her best friend. While it seemed that Brennan was having a good time, Booth found himself a little less joyous about his current tablemates.

"What did you say?" Hodgins yelled over the music; Booth had decided that it was turned up much louder than need be.

"Nothing," Booth answered back realizing that Hodgins was still waiting for an answer. "I was just thinking about how nice it is that there's no meth coming out of the wall this time."

"Tell me about it," Hodgins agreed as he followed Booth's line of vision to Brennan and Angela. "I think I'm gonna go dance with the girls." Hodgins smiled as he slid out of the circular booth; that is until he saw the look on Booth's face, "Don't worry. I'll keep my hands to myself, well and Ange. I'm just tired of Zack's sulking."

"I'm not sulking!" Zack yelled from Booth's other side, reminding him of the youngest squints' presence.

As Hodgins walked away rolling his eyes, Booth sent one more glance at his Bones. He wasn't worried about Hodgins, besides Angela would kill him if he tried anything. It was the rest of the men in the club he was worried about. Shaking his head, he remembered that Brennan was perfectly capable of protecting herself; she'd told him enough times. With that set he turned his attention to the young squint on his left, who was currently staring very intently at something.

Following his line of sight, Booth found himself looking at the woman he had come to know as Naomi from Paleontology. Feeling a strange need to help the kid, instead of making fun of him, Booth decided to go with it and maybe give the poor guy some help, seeing as they had worked together for almost four years. Bones would be proud of me, Booth thought happily as he turned back to Zack.

"So what's the deal with you two? Are you going out?"

Surprised by the direct question, Zack found he was unable to answer.

"Relax, Zack. I'm not going to shoot you." Booth supplied, remembering his original threat from so many years ago and hoping that he wouldn't regret his decision to talk to Zack.

"I don't know," Zack finally answered with a sense of defeat in his voice. "She won't talk to me about what we are to each other. I have a feeling it's me," he ended sadly.

Seeing how upset Zack was made Booth feel a bit guilty about being so mean to him; but only a bit. "You really like her don't you?"

The look on Zack's face was answer enough so Booth continued before he lost his nerve. "Maybe I could help you out a little. Get you that answer, or at least make her a little more into you."

"Really? You're willing to help me?"

"Consider it a birthday present."

"But my birthday isn't for months. I also never understood the need to celebrate the day we were born."

Thankful that it didn't seem that Zack would continue on his rant about birthdays, Booth tried to keep his patience. He was helping the kid out; the perfect good deed to keep him set for the next two months.

"Fine then, don't consider it a birthday present; just me being nice, like a friend would."

"You consider us friends?" Zack asked before Booth could continue.

"Zack," Booth said with a warning in his voice; there was only so much he could take. "Do you want me to help you out or not?" At Zack's eager nod Booth stated, "Okay then. Try not to interrupt. _Come with me if you want to see anything worth while, my child. I'll show you anything and everything_."

Taking Zack's attentive silence as acquiescence Booth continued. "First you have to try and separate yourself from all logic and reality when you're with Naomi. _Go to heaven for the weather. But to hell to sell your soul. I'll show you where mine went so long ago._"

Unable to hold his tongue, Zack remarked, "Agent Booth, you do realize that I don't believe there is a heaven or that people have souls or that there's a hell." At Booth's look, Zack shrunk into his seat accepting the metaphor, even if he didn't understand it.

"Look Zack, I can _teach you everything you need to know. The way to love and feel it in your bones. _I can tell you how to make her _grab the sheets and make her toes tremble. _How to make _her lips respond, she wants you, 'Oh!'_ But I can stop talking if you want to keep interrupting."

Taking Zack's silence as his queue to keep talking, Booth noted the unsure look on his face and felt the need to reassure the boy. "_The more you listen to me, you'll see. Everything that you need to be, for me, I'll show you all that you need, to be, the greatest lover to come after me._

"_Oh, I can show if you want to know exactly how to say her name. To make her scream and shout, but not from pain." _Booth added as a side note.

The eager look that Zack had responded with would have been priceless, had Booth not been so focused on getting through this conversation.

* * *

After covering some of the basics for Zack to try, Booth remembered one of his favorite discoveries. "_Ecstasy is all that she'll feel when you kiss her lightly. It's frightening. There is no room for sparks, show her lightening."  
_

Seeing that Zack was about to interrupt yet again, Booth rushed to remind him, "I'm here to _teach you everything you need to know. The way to love and feel it in your bones. _So you can make her _grab the sheets and make her toes tremble. _Make _her lips respond, she wants you, 'Oh!'  
_

"Just remember. _The more you listen to me, you'll see, everything that you need to be, for me, I'll show you all that you need, to be, the greatest lover to come after me."_

Not wanting to get in trouble for interrupting again, Zack raised his hand slightly.

"Yes Zack?"

"This is all really helpful but, what should I tell Naomi before? You know, so she lets me show her how I feel?"

Surprised that he had made it this far without Zack writing down notes to refer back to, Booth contemplated the question. "Just tell her something like, _'I can't wait to see inside. See exactly what you're made of. I can see right through your eyes. See exactly where you came from. I'll take you out around the town. I will break you down. I'll leave you high and dry, girl. I'll make your body cry, girl. I'll make your body, make your body, make your body cry out!' _You can even throw in a 'please' if you feel like it.

When he saw that Zack still looked a little uneasy, Booth reiterated, "You need to trust me on this, Zack. I just _taught you everything you need to know. The way to love and feel it in your bones. _The way to make her _grab the sheets and make her toes tremble. _Make _her lips respond, she wants you, 'Oh!'"_

When Zack finally accepted everything that Booth had told him, he glanced back at Naomi, who was still sitting at another table with some friends. Booth, seeing his look, spoke up and broke Zack out of his silence.

"Go get her Zack. Don't let her run of with your heart without you connected." Booth encouraged. Seeing Zack put on his lecture face, Booth learned what it looked like after spending so much time with Brennan, he added before Zack could begin, "It's another metaphor, Zack. Go."

Deciding to leave before Booth changed his mind about the whole 'not shooting' thing, Zack slid out of the booth and offered quietly, "Thank you, Agent Booth."

"You're welcome, buddy. Now go before I force you over there."

With his biggest smile all night, Zack finally left the table to go talk to Naomi. After seeing that Zack had made it across the club without losing his nerve, Booth scanned the crowed of dancers in search of his Bones. When he found her, she was making her way over to the table that he now occupied by himself.

"Hey," she greeted as she slid in next to him. "What were you and Zack talking about for so long?"

"Nothing important." Booth replied looking at his watch to see that he had been talking to Zack for almost an hour. He sent a quick look over to where he had last seen Zack. Booth smirked when he saw that only Naomi's friends were left at the table.

"Well he looked pretty happy when he walked away. Thank you for being nice to him." Brennan said as she leaned against Booth, still catching her breath from all the dancing she had done.

"It's no big. I figured it was the least I could do after ignoring him for the better part of four years. Where are Hodgins and Angela?"

"They just left. It was getting late. Why do you want to know?"

"I have a proposition for you that is far better suited for no company."

"And what would this proposition be?"

"_Come on girl and take a ride with me. Take your time and lose your need for speed. I'll take it slow and make you lose control. _Make _your lips respond, 'I want you, Oh!'"_ Booth whispered into Brennan's ear.

"Well. In that case," Brennan responded slightly out of breath once more as she dragged Booth away from the table and towards the door of the still packed club.

_The more you listen to me, you'll see  
Everything that you need to be, for me  
I'll show you all that you need, to be  
The greatest lover to come after me  
_

Booth smiled as his Bones dragged him from the club and towards his SUV. He felt it was time to follow some of the advice he had given Zack for himself. As his girlfriend hurriedly dragged him across the parking lot he muttered to himself once more.

"Oh yeah. Definitely time."

_The more you listen to me, you'll see  
Everything that you need to be, for me  
I'll show you all that you need, to be  
The greatest lover to come after me_

**THE END**

AN: Part 2 – Hopefully you enjoyed it. I would absolutely love to hear, or in this case read, what you thought of this one. I'd come up with something witty about leaving a review but I'm typing this out at 1am and I have to go to work tomorrow. Thankfully no school, though. Gotta love Easter Break.

The song was "Hell to Sell" by The Audition. They're awesome; you should all check them out.

Anyways, I really would love to know what you thought. Until next time: TTFN – Ta Ta For Now!


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